Sunday, May 29, 2011

itchy...

I've just had a thought...... of sorts.

Have you ever just felt like...itchy? not on your outsides, but on your insides? that's how I feel right now. I'm stuck in this life that I have to live for another year (perhaps a little longer...) while I finish school. I'm tied down to provo.... but my insides just want something more. something exciting. I want to live somewhere where I can feel things again. 

I think it's because I'm learning that I hate the familiar things in life.

I like to be put in situations where I don't know anything. Where I don't know my surroundings.why? because then I can discover... and it's through discovery that I find inspiration.

I'm lacking inspiration right now and I'm starting to feel the effects. Day after day I find myself doing the same thing I've been doing for 5 years. I go to school. I go to work. I come home and waste time doing pointless things. I want to be excited to wake up in the morning... and not just roll out of bed cause I have to.

don't get me wrong...I'm content. I realize and acknowledge that I'm definitely blessed to be living the life I'm living right now.

I'm just missing that......

..........spark.




I need more days like this one....






Monday, May 23, 2011

life these days...

i've been away from London for over a month..... there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about that place --  the people, the sights, the sounds, the smells, the laughs, the tears, the inspiration, the fun. I wish i could have stayed in that moment (or those 3 months of moments) forever. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss waking up in the London Centre.... I miss public transit..... I miss walking down the street to Sainsburys to get chocolate covered raisins for 79p....I MISS saying things cost (insert number)P.

.....but life is different now. Instead of waking up in the Centre surrounded by 5 other guys and 33 girls...I wake up in a full-sized bed in my own room, with my own bathroom....2 full sized closets.......... which all sounds nice.... but in reality it's kind of lonely and boring. It was easy for me to replace my pre-London-life with London-Life..... but I'm finding replacing "London-Life" with "Provo-Life" quite difficult.

Now, when I wake up 10 minutes before class starts (as happened this morning....) I panic. In London? not a big deal...I had 5 more minutes I could sleep if I wanted.

Now, if I want a home cooked meal (prepared by someone else) I have to drive to my parents house.... In London? I would come home to one every night (granted...it wasn't the BEST food in the world..)

Now, if I want to see a decent live show I have to travel at least to salt lake and plan days in advance..... in London I could ride 6 tube stops to get to Leicester Square to find a random show to see last minute.

Now, most of my conversations with friends happen over the phone.... in London - all conversation was face to face.

Now, I have to drive to get to a public park.... in London it was right across the street.


I could go on and on and on...and probably on some more. But I won't...the fact remains...I miss London.... but I'm learning to adjust.

I'm busy working 2 jobs (still at BYU and at Banana Republic) and going to school full-time. It's a struggle....but it's all worth it. There's a light at the end of the tunnel....I will (hopefully) graduate next fall......that day can not come soon enough.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

i'm BAAAAAACK!

...yes.... unfortunately it's true. I'm back in Provo.....

to sum up my experience in London and surrounding Europe....

I had the time of my life.

I'm working on editing/posting photos from my trip onto my photography blog. here's a teaser:

If you want to see more...head on over to my very amateur photography blog.